The 5,000 Fingers of Dr. T (1953)

There is something seriously dark and sinister under the surface of the film The 5,000 Fingers of Dr. T (1953), but never mind that, it's also a lot of fun and visually stunning. After all, it is a children's story written for the screen by Dr. Suess. It is the only screenplay he ever wrote during his long and legendary career. But he actually didn't like the finished product and during the premier of the film, movie goers walked out.

Hollywood director Tim Burton was just 5 years old when The 5,000 Fingers of Dr. T was released, but it looks like it came right out of his world of expressionistic sets and exaggerated colors and characters. This leads me to think that the world just wasn't ready for this movie in 1953. It has since gone on to gain a substantial cult following. It is also among my favorite kids' movies. 

Bart Collins (Tommy Rettig) is a piano student of the demanding Dr. Terwilliker. Bart can't stand Dr. T and he is convinced that he has hypnotized his mother and together they are forcing him to learn the piano. One day while practicing, Bart falls asleep and enters the Dr. Suess world of Dr. T. Barts' 10 fingers are just the first set in the grand scheme that Dr. T has to have 500 boys under his control, to play his giant piano. In the dream, Bart is a prisoner. His mother is Dr. T's assistant. There is a level headed handyman named Mr. Zabladowski. He's sarcastic and resistant to Bart's insistence that something horrible is going on. But he'll come around. In the meantime, Bart meats all sorts of interesting and creepy characters. But none are creepier than Dr. Terwilliker himself. He is perfectly portrayed by Hans Conried, probably remembered most for providing the voice of Captain Hook in Walt Disney's Peter Pan (also from 1953). 

The 5,000 Fingers of Dr. T is a musical in Technicolor. The colors pop out of the screen as everybody sings and dances to songs whose lyrics were also written by Dr. Suess. The music is okay, but it's not the kind of catchy tunes you would find in a Disney animated film. Nothing here will get stuck in your head for the rest of the day. That's a good thing. The best thing about this is what is happening on the screen. The entire dream world is extremely inventive. As I said before, this movie had to have some kind of influence on Tim Burton. You can also see some of it in Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory (1971). I kept expecting to see Oompa Loompas. 

Convoy (1978)

This is one of the very few movies I can think of that is based on a song written and recorded prior to the making of the film. And it's not just any song, it's a novelty song. Wikipedia's entry for "novelty song" says that it is "a comical or nonsensical song, performed principally for its comical effect." So why on earth did Sam Peckinpah, the guy who directed The Wild Bunch, make a movie based on a novelty song? Well, sadly that can be explained by some personal problems he faced later in life. I won't judge him for that, or for making this movie. He's responsible for a couple of the best films ever made, and he's closely associated with some of the greatest actors of all time. But Convoy came pretty close to the end of the line for Sam Peckinpah. 

The song "Convoy" was co-written and performed by C.W. McCall, along with "novelty" his songs have been labeled "outlaw country", which to be honest, would suite a Peckinpaw film so much better. 

The film Convoy stars another outlaw country singer Kris Kristofferson. In the opening shot, Martin "Rubber Duck" Penwald (Kristofferson) is behind the wheel of his eighteen wheeler screaming down an Arizona highway. He comes upon a Jaguar with a pretty young lady driving. He revs his engine and does some highway posturing and she in turn rides along side of his truck,  snapping pictures of him with her camera. neither of them notice a police car coming straight for them. The cop swerves to avoid them and pulls over Penwald. The Jaguar pulls over just up the road so she can snap more pictures. When Penwald tells the cop that the woman in the Jaguar isn't wearing panties, he's let off with a warning and the highway officer speeds after the woman. 

Penwald and his trucker friends stop at a diner where his girlfriend Violet (Cassie Yates) works. Here he meets the woman in the Jaguar face to face (she's played by the lovely Ali MacGraw). Her car broke down and she's selling some belongings and needs a ride. 

Should I go on? Do I really need to? You don't exactly have to be an experienced movie-goer to guess what happens next and figure out how it all ends. Even if you've never heard the song before, you've seen it a hundred times in movies and on television. This whole movie is like a really good episode of The Dukes of Hazzard. 

The villain of the film is played by the great Ernest Borgnine, A Sam Peckinpah favorite. He plays a corrupt police officer determined to give the truckers non-stop grief. The supporting cast is pretty good. Burt Young and Seymour Cassel are in this, but they've both made much better movies. Rocky (1976) and Rushmore (1998) respectively. 

The Dukes of Hazzard comparison really isn't that far off, with a few of the details changed. But this is really just cops vs. good ol' boys. With all of the same slapstick and silliness of the T.V. show. Where characters are injured badly, but they don't really get hurt. And the romance takes a back seat to non-stop action, politics and plot twists that you can see coming from miles away. For a serious documentary about union politics see a film called Harlan County, U.S.A. (1976).

If you're in the right frame of mind and don't take Convoy too seriously, it's actually kind of fun. I love that one of the female truckers goes by the handle Mother Trucker. But the movie hasn't held up well over the years (probably because America's CB craze is deader than disco). You should definitely seek out Peckinpah's The Wild Bunch, Straw Dogs, The Ballad of Cable Hogue and The Getaway before you even think about seeing this movie. It's actually kind of fitting that it's based on a "novelty song". I would have to describe Convoy as a novelty movie, not to be taken seriously.

Your Friends and Neighbors (1998)

When friends and I have discussions on the most depressing and most disturbing movies of all time (this topic comes up a lot actually) I always bring up Your Friends and Neighbors (1998). It's a black comedy written and directed by Neil LaBute. If you are familiar with any of his other films, you will already know that they are not easy to watch. But if you can get through them, they are very rewarding in their own little way. 

I'm not going to summarize everything that happens leading up to the climax. That would be pointless and take away some of the excitement. What I will tell you is that this is a film with many couples. These couples have friends who are other couples. All of the people in these couples are confused and lonely, some are angry and most of them are downright despicable. Oh and their names are Mary, Barry, Terri, Cheri, Carry and Jerry. Perhaps these couples are mismatched. Perhaps there is no one for these people. Perhaps they realize this. 

Early in the film, Jerry (played by Ben Stiller) is teaching an acting class. While discussing a scene in The Country Wife by William Wycherley, he makes the point to his students that "It's always about f*cking." LaBute seems to agree because we soon realize that this is going to be a major theme in Your Friends and Neighbors as well. 

Jerry's wife (played by Catherine Keener) says to Cheri in another early scene that love is a disease. Cheri replies that it's curable. Then they start to kiss and we get the feeling that they've been here before. 

There is more cheating and infidelity in this film. Characters make decisions where you can see the mistakes being made in slow motion and you are left feeling helpless. They say things out loud and to each other without saying them quietly to themselves first and then immediately realize that what they said was stupid.  

So why would you want to see this movie? Did I mention that it's a comedy? The pitch blackest of the darkest underbelly of the most jaded and hard to reach funny bone. But yes, it's funny. It's funny because one of these characters is cheating on his wife with himself. I also found it funny that Ben Stiller physically resembles Neil LaBute in this movie. It's funny because of the ridiculous amount of confidence a certain doctor has. He also takes being a jerk to a whole new level and that's a lot less funny.

The communication and sometimes lack thereof is where the true brilliance of this film lies. LaBute's films are more like plays and rely heavily on dialogue. Ever actor is perfectly cast and delivers each line exactly the way these characters should. Toward the end, Cheri says to Jerry, "Because I don't say stupid things like that to people." Jerry listens, stunned,  while looking through a painting. He snaps back to reality and realizes that it's crooked. 

Do these characters actually exist? Almost certainly, but these certainly aren't any of my friends or neighbors...well maybe they're neighbors. And back to that reward I mentioned earlier. Perhaps the reward of a Neil LaBute film is knowing that you are nothing like his characters. 

"It's not funny." says Jerry, to which Terri replies, "Yes it is." 

All Ladies Do It (1992)

All Ladies Do It is a very easy film to review, but it's not an easy film for me to watch. It's not a bad film and it's not a good film. It does exactly what it is trying to do and it does that with style and confidence. But it's also a sensory overload of sex and nudity mixed into a ridiculous cast of characters and story line. I'm no prude, but I do have my limits. 90 minutes is just too much. 

The director/co-writer of Così fan tutte (All Ladies Do It) is Italian filmmaker Tinto Brass. He is best described as the Italian Russ Meyer, but his obsession lies on the posterior not the bosom. You can expect to see a lot of butts in a Tinto Brass film. I just realized Brass rhymes with ass. I'm so glad I made this discovery. Brass has made films since the early 60's and his most famous film is probably Caligula (1979). However, his name was removed from the project after he was fired and Bob Guccione from Penthouse Magazine took control completely destroying the finished product by adding his own reshot footage. Although it was probably doomed from the start. What I want you to understand is that Tinto Brass is a very good director. He is professional, knows what he's doing and has a great eye for color and composition. It's the adult content and subject matter of his films that will either draw you in or repel you. 

The plot is fairly straight forward and simple. Claudia Kroll plays Diana. Diana is married to Paolo (Paolo Lanza), they seem to have a good marriage and they obviously care for each other deeply. But on a consistent basis, Diana finds herself in sexual predicaments with other men. She remains free from guilt because she tells her husband everything in such graphic detail that it excites him. All the while he does not realize that she is actually telling the truth, believing that it is all a fantasy. The first half of the film is made up almost entirely of Diana either having sex with her husband or someone else. Things get tricky when he finally realizes that she really is having all of these affairs. 

The soft core film genre is kind of like the Horror genre in that it has a built in audience. As long as you know what it is- from the poster or trailer or a critics review, you will know if you want to see it based on whether or not you go for that sort of thing. If you do in fact enjoy a light hearted romp with lots of skin and sex, then you can't get much better than a Tinto Brass film. Not only does it deliver in the intended area, but it's also funny and has a message. Some may find it's message empowering and others may find it offensive. I suspect you already know which category you will fall under.

Brothers (2009)

When I first saw the trailer for Jim Sheridan's remake of the Danish film Brødre (2004) I was convinced that a foreign language film was finally being made in english for the right reasons. Now, having seen both versions, I'm not so sure about that. So many times we get American remakes because someone with the money and the power thinks that films with subtitles are unappealing to American audiences. The best example I can think of from recent years is the Swedish film Let The Right One In (2008). I liked that remake quite a bit, even though it was completely unnecessary in the first place. The remake of Brødre makes a little more sense.
Brothers opens with Tommy Cahill (Jake Gyllenhaal) being released from jail after doing time for armed robbery. His brother United States Marine Captain Sam Cahill (Tobey Maguire) is picking him up and driving him into town. This scene in this film is done in a much more lighthearted way than in the earlier version. There are smiles and Tommy's outward expression of anger and guilt are much more toned down. But we still notice it. All of this happens as the opening credits flash on and off. One thing that jumped out at me, and it seemed like it was shown in a larger font than the rest of the credits, were the words, "Winter Performed by U2." Oddly enough, those words were to set the tone of the entire film for me, leaving a slightly bitter taste in my mouth.
You would think that a film about a man getting out of jail and reconnecting with his brother and his brother's family would make a great premise. But this story is just getting started. Tommy fits the ex-jailbird stereotype. He stays out drinking every night and thinks little of any consequence that may come his way. He scoffs at his brother's suggestion that he "apologize to that girl."
Sam fits the stereotype of a U.S. soldier. He jumps at the chance to serve his country in Afghanistan. Later in the film he even requests to go back. He's a family man. He's neat and organized and he even seems to have all of his marbles. While I was watching early scenes and then again in some of the later ones in the film, I kept thinking that Jake Gyllenhaal and Tobey Maguire would have been much better suited in each other's role. Maybe it's worth making a third time.
As Tommy is settling back into his life, Sam gets called to serve in Afghanistan. While he's there, his helecopter is shot down while on a mission. His body is not recovered and his wife Grace (Natalie Portman) is informed that he has died. This is a very well done scene where we see the two soldiers interact with her children and we see the knowing look of horror on Grace's face when she immediately realizes why they are there. We do not see or here her being told, but we know what's happening and we feel her pain.
The film then moves back to Afghanistan where we see that Sam is still alive and is being held prisoner in an Al-Qaeda mountain camp. Something happens here that changes him and when he returns home, he is no longer the same person.
Tommy and Grace have become very close since receiving the news of Sam's death. Tommy seems to have turned his life around and stepped up in ways that Grace needs but is also unready for. When Grace gets the news on the phone that her husband is still alive, again we only see the reaction on her face through the kitchen window, while she watches Tommy play with her two daughters with the phone pressed to her ear. This is such smart directing from Jim Sheridan.
Sam returns home and life goes on, but it is immediately apparent that something isn't quite right. He's detached and cold with a quick temper that can turn to violence. Especially when Sam starts thinking that something went on romantically between Tommy and Grace. This all leads to a climax that makes sense, but is just not all that interesting. Maguire very narrowly escapes what could have been a parody of Jack Nicholson in The Shining.
While this film handles it's subjects of family, grief and redemption very well in the storytelling, there are some key scenes that should be very moving and powerful, but they come off as slightly amusing.
The best acting in the film is from the two little girls who play Isabelle and Maggie, the daughters of Sam and Grace. The older one has to deliver some very difficult lines later in the film. And they both are natural and real with great facial expressions.
The real flaw of this film is that it's just so glossy and finished-well produced. It really is the antithesis of its predecessor. The former was made with the rules of Dogme 95 in mind. It was filmed with HD video and looked more like real life. This film is no different looking than the typical big budget blockbuster that has ironically become a dime a dozen. The subject matter calls for a much smaller and cheaper production. But having said that, there are better films than Brødre out there as well. I would recommend seeing both of these films for comparison and to educate yourself on how Hollywood short changes the viewer by remaking a foreign language film, or don't bother with either one. Brothers ends with the aforementioned U2 song. It's a good song and it fits well, but I guess a glossy, big budget production gets a song from the biggest band in the world.

I'm Still Here...

It's been almost two years to the day since my last post on here. It's time to revive this thing. This summer I have really stepped up the amount of film reviews I have been writing, so I can practice and build up a big portfolio. I've been posting them on tumblr, but they get lost in all of the other things I post over there, and I think the majority of tumblr users don't like to read things with lots of paragraphs. So, I'm going to post the reviews here as well from now on. I want to start with the reviews I've been writing since the end of June. I'll post about 5 at a time, so you aren't bombarded. I'll do that until I'm caught up. Then I'll start posting one a day. My goal for the summer is 50 reviews. I hope you enjoy them. I'd love feedback and criticism too, if you have it.

I watched Synecdoche, New York for the first time tonight. It definitely won't be the last. My mind is kind of blown right now.

Everything is more complicated than you think. You only see a tenth of what is true. There are a million little strings attached to every choice you make; you can destroy your life every time you choose. But maybe you won't know for twenty years. And you may never ever trace it to its source. And you only get one chance to play it out. Just try and figure out your own divorce. And they say there is no fate, but there is: it's what you create. And even though the world goes on for eons and eons, you are only here for a fraction of a fraction of a second. Most of your time is spent being dead or not yet born. But while alive, you wait in vain, wasting years, for a phone call or a letter or a look from someone or something to make it all right. And it never comes or it seems to but it doesn't really. And so you spend your time in vague regret or vaguer hope that something good will come along. Something to make you feel connected, something to make you feel whole, something to make you feel loved. And the truth is I feel so angry, and the truth is I feel so fucking sad, and the truth is I've felt so fucking hurt for so fucking long and for just as long I've been pretending I'm OK, just to get along, just for, I don't know why, maybe because no one wants to hear about my misery, because they have their own. Well, fuck everybody. Amen.

I think that only about a tenth of that is true, but it's one of the best speeches I've ever heard in a film.



I had such a good day today and felt so good. After seeing this movie, it makes me want to rethink all of that. I think I need to go to bed. Perhaps I can sort all of this out in my dreams. Wow, what a movie.